Dear WNO, I come to you today with a heavy heart. I would almost rather not write about SATC2 at all than tell you how I really feel about it (lol, I’m so dramatic sometimes).

I read somewhere that Michael Patrick King wanted to make SATC2 feel like the series. I will be the first to admit that he achieved this BUT it translated to a colossal #epicfail on the big screen. SATC2 was like one long, dry, anti-climatic, overly-clichéd imitation episode of the dynamic series.

I went to see SATC2 on its nationwide release date, May 27th, with three of my friends after work (which was a coincidence, not like we were trying to be some corny imitation of the cast). I had already read numerous critic reviews that were less than favorable, some very harsh. I turned to blogs and Twitter to gauge how everyday movie goers felt and the best review I saw was “it was just ok.” Well damn! (in my Gucci voice)

At the beginning of the movie, Carrie gives a brief account of when she first came to NYC and how she met Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha. Shortly thereafter, we see the girls in the quintessential SATC scene – talking over brunch in a café. Samantha invites the girls on her all expenses paid business trip to Abu Dhabi (shout out to Karah for making me think of Garfield and Odie every time I say Abu Dhabi, lol). Although much of the movie takes place in Abu Dhabi, before the girls leave we see Carrie & Big discuss spending time apart; Charlotte have a mommy breakdown; Miranda quit her job; and Samantha get reacquainted w/Smith as she battles menopause. Stanford and Anthony also get married in beginning and their reception proves to be one of the highlights of the film.

While in Abu Dhabi, Carrie bumps into Aiden; Charlotte confesses that she is not happy in her life as wife and mom for which she prayed and shed many tears; Miranda is freakishly happy and plays the role of Miss Congeniality for the group; and Samantha upsets the locals with her overt sexuality.

While all of these situations set up good potential drama, none of it actually materialized. This is where it achieved having its series-like quality, but unlike a series, the audience won’t get the climax (Ha! You would think this wouldn’t be the first time I’ve said climax in a post about SATC, smh.) or punch line in the next episode. Some of the plot twists my friends and I believed would have added a cinematic climax to the film are Carrie actually cheating on Big w/Aiden; Charlotte’s husband Harry cheating w/the sexy nanny to whom he is obviously attracted; an explanation for Miranda’s new cheery, carefree attitude (drinking/drug problem perhaps?); and Samantha’s menopause trouble someway linked to her cancer (which was a big deal at the end of the series but totally left out of the movies).

Aside being just boring, there was one rather annoying theme that was painfully apparent throughout the movie. There was wayyyy too much modern-day feminism/pseudo girl power going on for my liking. Here are a few examples I would like to offer as evidence:

1. Liza Minnelli old a$$ performing Beyonce's Single Ladies
2. Miranda quitting her job because of the oppressive male boss
3. All of the references to the women in the veils & the Arabic men’s attempt to silence their voices
4. Samantha's sexual liberation w/the condoms in the street of the Arab market
5. The Arabic women shedding their robes & wearing sexy designer gear
6. The girls singing "I Am Women" at karaoke w/it looking like the all female United Nations in the club singing “We Are The World”

All this “feminism” is actually ironic considering real feminist detest everything that SATC stands for. **kanyeshrug**

In conclusion, I will give my final summation of SATC2 as I believe each of the characters would (lol):

Charlotte – it was like being in the perfect marriage with someone you don’t love
Miranda – it was like a disappointing one-night stand after a dry spell
Samantha – it was like sex without an orgasm… long, boring with no climax
And
Carrie – it was like a great shoe sale at Neiman’s but there is nothing left in your size

SATC2 had great potential, but many fans are left unsatisfied.

**I purposely chose not to mention the fashion in SATC2... BUT if you want my two cents, here it is... While some of the looks were questionable (pumps in the desert), overall, Patricia Fields did a great job!**


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